Gov. Umo Eno.
By Tom FredFish
What happened at D’Angelo Hotel, Uyo, on October 30 was not a conference but a political clearance sale cum auction. A handful of men who once wore the title of Speaker gathered under one roof to auction off whatever remained of their integrity. Their so-called Conference of Former Speakers of State Legislatures (Akwa Ibom State Wing) was less about governance and more about stomach infrastructure in designer suits.
Then came the most laughable line of their communique, their self-anointing prophecy that *“no coalition, no matter how vociferous or well-funded, will stop Umo Eno, Akpabio, and Tinubu in 2027.”*
Read that again, but slowly. That sentence alone deserves a place in the Museum of Political Absurdity. It captures the arrogance of failed men who mistake political kneeling for patriotism. It’s the anthem of those who believe elections are decided not by the people, but by those who can outshout hunger with flattery.
Many of these men who wouldn’t point to a single legacy project in their constituencies, now parade themselves as apostles of “peace and stability.” Stability for whom? For the same people they abandoned when they held power? Or for the political godfathers whose tables they now circle, plates in hand, waiting for crumbs to fall?
Their newfound “unity” is not born of nothing but hunger. Hunger for attention, contracts, and visibility. Theirs is a unity of empty bellies rumbling in chorus, the harmony of the politically unemployed.
Their communique was not an evaluation of performance but a love letter to power. They called it “a meticulous assessment of Governor Umo Eno’s achievements.” Meticulous? Without data, figures, or even one tangible example? Not one road, not one hospital, not one job-creating venture, empowerment that the governor has done or schools constructed was mentioned. Even the reconstructed internal roads at Akpan Andem Market, a visible project went unacknowledged. These men praise what they cannot point to. They support what they don’t even understand. That’s not endorsement; it’s demarketing in designer agbada. Governor Eno should beware of such dangerous praise-singers: they will clap him into failure.
And then came their old, overused slogan, “peace and stability”. Nigerian politicians use “peace” the way magicians use smoke: to distract from what’s really happening. When they say “let’s avoid divisive politics,” what they actually mean is “stop asking questions.” But democracy without dissent is dictatorship in cologne. True peace is built on justice and performance, not silence and submission.
Even funnier is the fact that not all former Speakers were part of this charade. Some were not consulted, and others quietly distanced themselves. What they had at D’Angelo was a fraction, not a conference, a gathering of contract-seekers pretending to be statesmen. And when the only people invited to the “conference” are journalists and at the other end waiters: no resource persons, no sessions or discussants, then you are not hosting a political summit but holding a press conference with puff-puff and kunu.
Their sudden rediscovery of Senator Godswill Akpabio as a “symbol of stability” deserves an Oscar Award. These are the same men who once cursed him under their breath, now crawling at his feet in praise because the banquet has moved to Abuja. What has changed? Nothing, except who holds the cutlery. Akpabio has the gavel, and they have appetites. It’s not loyalty; it’s survival instinct. The ancient art of political shape-shifting perfected in Uyo, performed live at D’Angelo.
In truth, their behavior is a tragedy for the institution they once led. The legislature exists to hold power accountable, not to serenade it. But these men have swapped the gavel for a begging bowl. They are the ghosts of a long-dead legislature: a choir of hungry spirits humming praise songs to those who feed them.
Akwa Ibom people are no longer fooled. They can see through this theatre of the absurd. They know that when politicians shout “peace,” they usually mean “don’t oppose us.” They know that those who call the opposition “divisive” are merely allergic to accountability. Akwa Ibom people want leaders who will provide jobs for their children, empower artisans, build schools, roads, and provide affordable healthcare not press releases and hotel meetings.
The 2027 elections will not be decided by noise, hunger, or hotel endorsements. They will be decided by performance, ideas, and truth. No amount of paid press conferences or manufactured “conferences” can silence the will of the people.
So, when these men declare with pomp that “no coalition, no matter how vociferous or well-funded, will stop Umo Eno, Akpabio, and Tinubu in 2027,” they are not predicting victory, they are advertising desperation. It is not prophecy; it is panic. It is not confidence; it is hunger wearing a borrowed suit.
And in the final chapter of this tragicomedy, history will not remember them as “former Speakers” but as former men, who sold their voices for lunch.
Dr. FredFish is a Journalist, Public Affairs Analyst, and Political Commentator._
